Perspective

There are days, and there are days...this was one of those days that really puts things into perspective.

Being here in the middle of the 'pink' month, I had plans today to finish up a chemo cap to start my pile to send off to the Oncology unit at the University of Michigan. My cousin works in that pharmacy, and her mom was treated there 5 years ago for breast cancer. My mom was diagnosed just a few weeks after my Aunt back in 2002, and was treated for her breast cancer at the same hospital that I had visited back in June with the preemie baby times in Bay City. I've tried from time to time to send groups of chemo caps to the U of M as praise and thanksgiving for both of these very important women in my life and for our continued enjoyment of having them around for many more years in the family. Being in the middle of the baby blanket bonanza, has pushed back my starting dates for the chemo caps.

This past weekend, I realized that I've not yet posted my pattern that I've used many times for the chemo caps. So, I thought I'd knit up a couple this week and get the pattern posted.

It will happen.

Just not today.

You see, after doing my straightening up for the day, I got a phone call from my son. He was just starting out on his drive after spending the weekend with my parents and extended family in Michigan and was heading back to Bloomington, IN. He had told my folks before leaving their house that the rain was making him uncomfortable. (Pay attention to those feelings people!!!!!!) Last October back in Los Angeles during this week off of school (the law school shuts for a week to allow students to go on interviews), he hit some water and spun out on a Los Angeles freeway. He was fine, but the back in was a 'new shape'. What was he driving? His little sister's Ford Explorer. (I didn't buy her that car).

So, off he went this morning..and when he called the first time, his first words to me were, "This car is a *&(*$&#*&^% death trap!" Apparently he had just had a spin out and was thankful that he didn't hit another car..and was shook up, but OK....and was about to head back into traffic. The rain was pretty heavy at that point. Having just driven Friday night in Los Angeles in a downpour, I reminded him to take the speed down much further than he already had. I wished him good luck, but to be safe.

Can you tell where this is going?

I no sooner hung up the phone and walked across the room when the phone rang again. It was Kyle...the car had just crashed!

I couldn't tell if he was more hurt at that point, or so ticked off (I've greatly cleaned that one up) that this had happened by the tone of his voice. I told him to hang up and call 911..and call me back asap.

Do you know that feeling of waiting? When you're ~3,000 miles away from your son, and you can't do a danged thing about it? It's been a good 4 1/2 hours since all of this started..and I think I'm still shaky. No, I know that I am..and my heart is still up in my throat. (It's the 'thinking' about things afterwards that always gets to me.)

In the meantime, I had to call my parents (never like calling them with bad news-not good to worry Grandparents I tell you) to get my brother's cell phone number (I swear I had it before) and sent him over to pick up my son from the tow shop. The kid is fine, save for a sore spot where the seat belt went across his rips. (I'd really like to kiss the inventor of the seat belts!!!!!!) His air bag never deployed, and the back end of the car ended up on the center divider of the...get this..if you know Michigan....of the Zilwaukee BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!

Ya. Consider that for another moment. His car...was hung up on the center divider of the Zilwaukee Bridge. AND.I.CAN'T.DO.A.THING.ABOUT.IT! Put that in your 'Mom nerves.'

The back window blew out and the back wheel pin broke. Suffice it to say...the car is now in the scrap pile, and he's back at my Mom and Dad's house for the night. He's currently looking at rental car companies. I talked to him about 15 minutes ago. I asked if he were OK, and his answer? "Mom, I am OK, but all of a sudden I got really, really tired."

OK...Should I have told him, "Ya think?"

No, I just said, "that's the shock wearing off. It's normal, just take it easy and go lay down for a bit. You'll be OK. Just take a nap and call me later and check in." In all of his 25 years, I don't think that kid has EVER been tired except post emergency room trip from a severe asthma attack.

Me? I've got some really wonky knitting today as I'm trying to breathe normally again as I'm giving a lot of thanks right now.

1) My son is OK!!!!!!!
2) My Mom was home to give me my brother's phone number.
3) My brother was in his car and able to go pick up my son AND his cell phone was on.
4) If this had to happen with this car, he was close enough to my family that they could go pick him up and do the 'Mothering' I'm not close enough to do.
5) Seat belts...seat belts....seat belts!
6) "strange-foreboding feelings" are there for a reason.
7) My cousin for being a back up plan for tomorrow if need be.
8) Neither my son or my daughter will ever drive that broken down, P.O.S car again!
9) My Dad is STILL HOME! 10 days and counting..and my son will now have another evening with him and my mom and my brother and my niece!
10) Grandpa and Grandson can take a 'nap' together. (ha ha...)

The pattern for the chemo cap...maybe tomorrow...we'll see what the news will be then.

After all, the son....still has to drive again tomorrow back to Indiana.

And I still won't be any closer to him to hug him tight enough until his eyes pop.

You parents know that feeling...right?

Someone send me a crow bar to get my heart out of my throat. It seems to be stuck there.